PSP - Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest

Format
PSP
Publisher
Buena Vista Games
Developer
Amaze Entertainment
Country of origin
US
Release date
June/July 2006
Genre
3rd person adventure

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest

By David Rasmussen
23rd Jul 06

Summer is in full swing now, with movies like Superman Returns, Pirates of the Caribbean : Dead Man’s Chest and… well… and more out now. Basically, however, Pirates is ruling the box office.
Regardless of our present feelings towards the Disney and their mouse, it cannot be denied that Pirates 2 is doing well in the box office these days. What with it raking in about 200 million (more or less) in two weeks, and (thus) holding the top seat in the box office for same two weeks, we are looking at the present ruling movie of the summer (what with all those other summer movies underachieving as they did).
Oh, you weren’t fooled into believing Disney’s earlier tirad promise about limiting the franchise to two movies prior to the release of Pirates of the Caribbean 1, right? No? Didn’t think so.

So let’s get to this game, after all it’s not like we’re going to not be making this trip again next year when Pirates 3 (guest starring Keith Richards as a pirate dad from what the TV Media has been harping about it) hits with it’s plague of video game versions… so let’s do this.
If you haven’t been contributing to Disney’s kitty by being one of the 200 million dollars or so that went to the Bank of Walt via theatrical box offices, and you haven’t been making investments in Walt Inc by tossing down money for Pirates tie-in merchandise including M&Ms, cereal, and whatever else they could slap the Pirates images on, then you probably have seen the flock of video games coming out, and it all started with a level in a game that was not Pirates of the Caribbean : Kingdom Hearts II.

Remember Kingdom Hearts II’s Pirates of the Caribbean level? That was nicely animated if I do say so myself, and it was kind of fun too… but it also prepared you for a new wave of Pirates games (which is probably one of the reasons why Kingdom Hearts II was delayed from it’s original 2005 release date).
Pirates here (PS2), Pirates there, (Xbox and probably Xbox360), Pirates on the GBA (whee?), Pirates probably on the Nintendo DS… and, yes, Pirates on the PSP (which is the basis of this review).

In Pirates of the Caribbean : Dead Man’s Chest (based, yes, on the new movie) you play as Captain Jack Sparrow… who seems less like Captain Jack Sparrow as he does The Dread Pirate Arthur (and by that I don’t mean the Clive Owen King Arthur from that Jerry Bruckheimer fiasco some years ago as I do the even older visage of the not so funny drunken fop Arthur, played by Dudley Moore in two movies).
Captain Sparrow is a lifetime AA member in need of an AA support group, walking in a stumble wobbling and weaving as if he’s on his 30th keger (and considering that the game’s source of “healing” is “grog” (which I bet is some hard liquor) I can kind of see why the bad Captain is eternally inebriated).

This just doesn’t work when it comes to the platforming aspect of this game, which (yes) this game has.
Now it just couldn’t be enough to have you run through the generic hack and slash of the game’s combat system (which basically is a long ballet of alternating between tapping the X then square button and tapping the square then X button during combat, occasionally accentuated by a circle slash square tap to take out ax wielding whatevers. And whatevers is what you face as you find out that while the character images change, the characters for the most part remain the same. Sword wielding whatever, two sword wielding whatevers, axe wielding whatevers. It’s all basically the same, requiring the same pattern to take them out over and over and over and over again… and yes, if that sounds like “fun” then by all means go run out and buy Pirates of the Caribbean : Dead Man’s Chest right away (it won’t hurt me none if you do).

But if you are not so enamored with the thought of this “action”, the “puzzles” of the game will be worst for you. Basically it’s not so much of the thinking as it is physical stuff. And even some of the “thinkers” like pulling levers to open gates is not all that hard to overcome (boring).
With the thought of puzzles in mind we’re faced with the three Is of puzzles.
Immature, Intriguing and Insane.

Immature is the basic “put powderkeg at blockade and light it” puzzle or pull the levers to open the door.

Intriguing is a variant of the powderkeg puzzle with a intriguing room where you have to get across a pit of hot coals (don’t walk through), grab a powderkeg, put it on a swinging cage thing and spin it about, then go back and grab the keg (killing pirates all the long while you do this) and set it up to blow it up.
Another intriguing puzzle is this blowdart puzzle using four color coded pairs of blowdart masks and this system of turning stone things (with a hole in them which allows darts to shoot through), in which you have to have the masks of the same color shoot each other in coordination to a stone “key” system set into the floor in front of the locked door. Nice.

Insane is the jumping, like jumping across a system of ravines or jumping across rope to rope and pit over pit. This is insane because jumping in this game is a total pain! Your character half of the time pulls up short (falling and then grabbing the side and pulling himself up), which totally throws off your timing because you fall out of your steady run which is bad if you building up momentum (and harder to regain if you are on a small platform or about to be run over by rolling boulders).

So pretty much get used to lots and lots of falling deaths, especially since while you CAN grab the side with you’re trying to jump (do that a lot which throws off your jumping), Jack somehow forgets to do that when it counts (and you reach the opposite end of the jump and want him to grab on to the ledge and pull you up).

As for the voice acting? I couldn’t find a list of the voice talent in the game (and I watched the whole credits just to see whose in this game) but I am betting the game is NOT featuring the talents of Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom or Keira Knightly (then again you won’t miss it all that much since the game isn’t a runaway spectacular hit to begin with).

Add to that the lacking “wit” of the bad Captain, who seems to ramble onwards about stuff that is not all that funny (which is probably more from him being drunk than being witty), as well as the lacking gameplay and the slanted difficulty (easy is easy except for the stuff the game can’t control like all the jumping which is a pain with the not so accurate jumping system while normal is damn hard what with you constantly being overwhelmed by enemies and hacked up like fish) and you got yourself a game that is probably only going to be for those suffering from a Pirates fix.

Need for a portable pirate fix then, I suppose, this is it. It’s not like Sid Meyer’s (sorry if that’s misspelled) Pirates is headed to the PSP right now or anything, so it’s not like we’re looking forward to a satisfactory Pirates game on the PSP… or the GBA… or the Nintendo DS. Breakdown will say the rest.

Pirates of the Breakdown the 2nd
What’s Hot?
Well I guess if you like your gameplay simple (so simple you don’t even have an inventory screen, just a screen which notes your “Notoriety” which is your levels in this game (which denotes higher hit points for each level you ascend)) then Pirates is for you. A quick hack and slash that clocks in at 10 levels + 5 treasure levels (which is basically challenges to earn pieces of the Kraken, which you need to access the 10th and final level of the game, and the fight against the Kraken) of gameplay, with some lengthy levels to keep you somewhat occupied.

What’s Not?
If you’re looking for some depth in your gameplay, however, be ready to be disappointed.
Everything is simple, right on from the game mechanics down to the levels (10+5 survival levels where you have to be the last pirate standing) and the so called Notoriety (which sucks because you have no basis upon which to base your “leveling up” here, nor any real stats to judge your strengths in this game.

Add to that a gimpy jumping ability that doesn’t work half the time, a character whose animation (let alone voice acting) make it look like he should get some time out in a detox clinic, as well as lackluster gameplay that you should finish in x hours and you got yourself a game that I figure will only be picked up by the extremely die hard Pirates fanatics.

Moments to Remember?
Pirates is a cleaned up, polished, sanitized look at the pirating life… so, well, I don’t know what is memorable here. I guess, however, if you are a major Captain Jack Sparrow fan (enjoyed it when you finally reached the Pirates world in Kingdom Hearts II for instance) and have all the other Pirates games this year, then you probably will be getting this game as well… because, well, why not? You got the rest so you might as well get this one as well.

What to Ignore?
My Pirate needs detox badly… that, and a game about pirates you’d expect… I don’t know, a more richly detailed combat system. What you get is a button masher that tries to spice it up with a few gimmicks like the alternate weapon (one or two uses) and the interactive stuff to harm enemies like barrels, conveniently laid rock traps and so forth. This is all nice, and all, but they’re out in the damn open! I mean if these AI are really dumb enough to run into these traps then they deserve what they get.
Speaking of which your opponents basically swarm you, which is not so bright since they don’t try to use any tactics (and I’m sure I’ve seen enemies kill themselves by attempting to chase me through hazards and expiring in the process).

Overall?
A not so intelligent outing for a movie that should have done better (what with the movie earning so much in the box office and all that). Maybe the console versions are smarter, or at the very least more intelligent than the PSP Pirates game, but this game (Pirates on the PSP) is just for the die hards out there.
Of course, yes, if you want to own this game then feel free. It’s not the best game but, again, if you are suffering from a Pirates of the Caribbean fix this will probably be it for you… if you don’t mind it’s inferior workmanship that is. Nuff said.

-- David Rasmussen 23rd Jul 06

PSP Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest Images