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Pirates Vs. Ninjas #1 to #2 of 4

Pirates Vs. Ninjas #1 to #2 of 4
At this point of the review I guess, by law, I’m expected to come up with some witty pirate voice over banter to introduce the review and all. I would… except for the fact that it just reminds me that I have to review Pirates of the Caribbean 3 for the PSP in the summer and that depresses me. Oh, and isn’t there supposed to be a Sid Meyer’s Pirates on the PSP to review as well? Oh, more pirates to review. “Joy”?

Now don’t get me wrong, as of late I have had a nice thing to say about pirates. Also I had a nice thing to say about ninjas. On the side of Pirates I’ve not so recently reviewed Seven Seas’ Destiny’s Hand, which I liked to the tune of a 4 out of 5. Opposite end it’s Ninjas and Mail Order Ninja, which I also liked to another tune of a 4 out of 5. So with two 4 out of 5 in my recent reviewing past for pirates and ninjas I guess this title has about as good a chance for a good score as any. As long as it doesn’t go overboard and off the gangplank from excess… which it seems to do.

Now before we go any further I’d like to note to our readers that the concept of Pirates Vs. Ninjas isn’t as far fetched a concept as it might seem (even if it is one of the topics thrown around by fantypes and gets a prominent mention by your animal neighbors in Animal Crossing : Wild World for the Nintendo DS), in fact it has actually happened… sorta. Sure, we’re talking Asian Pirates (not Pirates of the Caribbean Pirates) but I’m sure at some point in the past Pirates (Asian) have tangled with Ninjas… of course the honorable clans of Japan and Asia who both represent Pirates and Ninjas of the past would disagree, but I’m sure it happened… still, just in case, I‘d better add the word “Alleged“ to this all just in case an ancient clan of ninjas happen to be reading this review.

Of course if we’re talking Caribbean Pirates vs. Japanese Ninjas? There are too many variables to even think of that. Of course, well, if there was a quicker way for ships to cross into the Pacific without waiting for the Panama Canal… and Japan was opened to the Western World quicker, like during the golden age of piracy… or Japan expanded into the Western World quicker (again during the golden age of pirates) then the stage might have been set for a confrontation of possibly epic proportions. Like in this series.

Meet Kineas P. Montague, the geeky main scribe of our story as he (while serving a “tour of duty” as a pirate ship’s navigator under threat of walking de’ plank) discovers the “records” of the first recorded confrontation between the rogues of the West and the assassins of the East… oh, and look! No obnoxious brat in a bright orange tracksuit with the battlecry of “BELIEVE IT!” to speak of! Joy!

Somehow both sides have found themselves on an uncharted island, and since neither side is known for their Patrick Stewart as Captain Picard diplomatic flair they went to the part where they bash each other until only their leaders remain. And, wouldn’t you know it, both leaders happen to be heavy hitters in the rank and files of their respective jobs… not a big error of the title, but don’t worry… it’ll get worst.

It’s not enough that these two sides have just about widdled each other down to nothing, with their leaders going one on one all out as men should, with their skill and strength of their weapon arm to carry them through, no they needed a gimmick… and the minute the gimmicks come out the title loses points. In this point it’s the use of “special” weapons. For our ninja pal a special katana that is seemingly the “physical” manifestation of disaster. That could just be metaphor and wordplay, nothing to be overtly concerned about, but then we turn towards the pirate. A great pirate is a guy with a hard weapon, a strong arm, and the skill to make his weapon “sing” a nice sea shanty as it rips apart enemies left and right. But then he offs and summons the power of Poseidon’s trident to shoot electricity and summon the Kraken. Yeah. That’s so real and down to Earth ain’t it.

And thus the title, like Red Riding Hood or the people who thought Armed & Famous was a good idea for a TV Series, traipses down dangerous roads through the dark woods by taking a wondrously splendid concept and overadds onto it. Pirate vs. Ninja as a war of the strongmen is fine, but add the supernatural, over the top action at times, and pirates who seem to tether between Pirates of the Caribbean and Pirates from Home Alone (watch out for that trap!) and I begin to lose my enthusiasm.

Then we have the actual sides. Is it me or are we really giving abit of “personality” to the pirates and practically ignoring the ninjas? I know this title dares us to pick sides, but has the creators already picked sides since they seemingly fleshed out the pirates equation more than the ninja? Sure, sure, next two volumes could be ninja-centric and all but that’s for next review. Right now I’m staring at two volumes where there is more “personality” in the pirates than the ninjas… and the personality in the pirates is nothing to be overtly proud of, mind you, as they seem more adept at one-liners, odd couple mentality and cussing/swearing/bickering than being actual pirates. I just wasn’t too excited by all that.

Now the good news. The action ramps it up high, there’s a ton of action and it bites with a nice little wicked flair as the pirates have an attitude problem that they can only relieve on their “pajama-wearin’ buttersop” enemies who seem to have all the personality of cloned troopers from Kamino. And there is abit of a story here as our Mr. Montague is kidnapped by the ninjas, which is a good turn as he comes into possession of the last bits of knowledge which reveals what happened after that clash on the uncharted island and why this renewed clash between pirates and ninjas was inevitable. But that, and the horrible horrible (as in oh god how weird can this yet get) truth that may mean the death of Mr. Montague if the wrong people learn it.

As this ends we’re halfway through and the greater truth of this conflict (and it’s ties into the past first confrontation and what happened to the victor of that confrontation) will either set our narrator free… or kill him. One or the other. More action, more fighting, more dysfunctional pirate mischief as they dodge death while quipping about it… oh, and they seemed to have found their navigator (our narrator) but now seem to be short a Captain… that can’t be good.
Quick, breakdown time.

Pirates Vs. Ninjas Vs. Ash Vs. Breakdown the 1st (of 2)
Let’s be straight up about this. The concept is a fine one, and the action does work well… if not for the fact that the title just couldn’t leave a good enough idea alone and went above and beyond the call of duty. Now you might like it, sure, but maybe I could have done with less supernatural hijinxs, more personality and… well… how about some actual personality out of the ninjas since, technically, we’re supposed to pick sides but it’s hard not to sway against the ninjas since they don’t seem to really stick out in this title as they are more like the cannon fodder bad guys than an actual side with it’s own personality and contribution to the story we’re seeing unfold… yet. Now, mind you, as the second half of the series hits I do hope the ninjas suddenly gets some depth in their side of the conflict and we see their side of the battle, but that is a fevered hope that I have yet to see completed… yet.

Until then it’s a great title, but somehow I think too much is not always a good thing. Still… can I really penalize a title just for being abit over the top? I mean damn, I didn’t penalize some of my past reviews for going overboard so why do it here? Still both sides are not fully represented, I wasn’t bowled over by the pirates “personality” and no really stand out personality characters jumped out at me on this title so I’m going to give the title a good score, but not a perfect one.

Pirates Vs. Ninjas #1 & #2 plunder my ratings chest for 3.5 gold doubloons for every 5 I own.

Pirates Vs. Ninjas and all related characters are TM & C 2007 Antarctic Press.
Story C 2007 Fred Perry, Robby Bevard, and Wes Hartman. Art C 2007 Craig Babiar.

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Pirates Vs. Ninjas #1 to #2 of 4